.

"you always have the best stories"

- Dagger.

Last Night:

- Limehouse.
- Basements.
- Microdermals.
- Walls.
- DVDs.
- Walking.
- Missing you.
- Talking about film sets.
- Broken sofas.
- Vampire movies.
- Naff lighting.
- HH.
- Sleeping.
- Getting films explained to me.
- Forked tongues.
- The walk of shame.

I need to sleep.

- Dagger.

Today I Really Miss You.

- Dagger.

To The East, To The South, To The West, To The North

so today i'm travelling to the North

wish me luck

i hear there are lots of fields and hills

this makes me nervous

lady of the house of love

yesterday i was treated to a very romantic evening and it was lovely

there were:

kisses

flowers

sweeties

tea

a 'mix tape' that actually had photos not songs

a lush bath

candles

strawberries

squirty cream

a massage

and quite possibly the best sex ever

lady of the house of love

I'm Not The One You Want Babe.

Go away from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who's never weak but always strong,
To protect you an' defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'll only let you down.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes to you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone to die for you an' more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

You say you're looking for someone
Who'll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An' to come each time you call,
A love you for your life an' nothing more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Sitting in a towel crying at Johnny Cash. I have reached a new low.

- Dagger.

.

When I was little my dad had to work in Russia for a while and he brought these back.

I was perfectly fine for 20 years without you, but there's a dull ache now you've gone.

- Dagger.

Reasons I Cried At Six

- You said you loved me and that you call me later. 25 hours later, I'm still waiting.
- I am a Courtney without a Kurt.
- You're too hungover for a bus jouney to Romford. You are not too hung over for the pub with girls from work.
- She asks how you are, and you don't tell her you're happy we are back together. You don't tell her we are back together at all.

- Dagger.

I Own A Broken Camera And A Broken Heart.

I hate that I am waiting up for him to call when I know he never will.

- Dagger.

I Want To Be 50.

Friday:

- Seven o'clock.

- Kisses in bed.

- Red lipstick and flowery dresses.

- Getting changed in the toilets.

- Suicidal ducks.

- Naughty kisses.

- Name games.

- The Northen Line.

- Shopping.

- Vintage clothes and records.

- Books.

- Sex shops.

- Sushi.

- Kings Cross Train Station.

- Not knowing what to wear.

- Sweet text messages.

- Drag.

- Pub talk and raspberry beer.

- Nice smelling neighbours.

- Top hats, canes and amazing moustaches.

- Corsets.

- Dancing.

- Compliments.

- Having my picture taken.

- More dancing.

- Being pissed off.

- Wishing you were here.

- Walking home.

- Chips.

That was an epically long list.

I epically miss you.

- Dagger.

Things I Don't Want People To Know.

This is going around blog-land so I thought I'd jump on the band wagon.

1) I watch a lot of porn.

2) I have been feeling really broody lately. And I know I am no where near ready, emotionally, financially or relationship-wise to have a child, but a large part of me fears that I never ever will be.

3) I always thought I was going to get married young.

4) I just cried at the x factor.

5) I was seriously considering not going to the first meeting of the last film I worked on, because I hate meeting new people.

6) I want long, curly hair so badly it makes me cry sometimes.

7) I love hand washing my clothes.

8) Your girlfriend is really, really, really boring.

9) Mirrors in the dark really, really creep me out.

10) I hate, with a passion, the fact that I am messy.

I wish my life was more romantic, and there were more fields in it.

- Dagger.

Today Is Gloomy, But At Least My Tights Are Clean.

Things That Have Really Pissed Me Off Today:

- Wet socks.

- The fact that our kitchen only stays clean for half an hour.

- Not being text back.

- People not answering their phones.

- People updating their facebook status', but ignoring my messages.

- The fact that you STILL owe me a grand, and you STILL can't be bothered to get your stuff.

- The fact that you possibly have our good can opener.

- You won't answer your phone.

- Frustrating, useless conversations.

- Staying in for no reason.

Blah.

I'm going to take my Holga and possibly my 35mm out tomorrow in London, and this makes me happy.

- Dagger.

So Go! Try...

back home again....

for some reason i always expect things to have changed in this town

and it always disappoints me somehow

even though i know it will be the same

and in some crazy way i find that comforting

lady of the house of love

Things That Should Not Happen When You're Not A Teenager:

- Unrequited love.

- Being told by your parents you'll never amount to anything without them.

- Being told by your parents to tidy your room.

- Being told by your parents to shut up and sit down.

Today has been awful.

I feel useless, and loveless.

I don't understand how relationships are supposed to work?

- Dagger.

- Dagger.

Saturday:

- Getting up early.
- Bears.
- Stopping for food after two minutes.
- Bowling For Soup.
- Major Tom.
- Couples.
- The sea.
- Missing the American one.
- Getting pebbles in my shoe.
- Very big seagulls.
- High street.
- Chinese.
- Tupperware boxes.
- Cameras.
- Rainbow bunting.
- Vegan marshmallows.
- Traffic.
- Rain.
- Cider.
- Vegetarian spring rolls and cream slices.
- Duvets and borrowing AC/DC t-shirts.
- Missing not drinking.
- Mean, drunken things.
- Sick.
- Being told not shaving my legs is okay at a festival, but repulsive in a bedroom in hackney.
- Spooning.
- Snoring.

Sunday so far has consisted of being made cups of tea, Billy Idol, apologies and soup.

- Dagger.

Yesterday:

- Kissing.
- Pretty skirts.
- Train stations, train tickets.
- Pret.
- The Northern Line.
- Subway.
- Sitting on the steps of a theatre.
- Waterloo.
- Tongues.
- Following signs.
- Pigeons and brick walls.
- Tanks.
- Trenches.
- Knowing about the Berlin Wall.
- Pizza.
- Unicycles and chainsaws.
- Avenue Q.
- Sleeping on the train on the way home.

- Dagger.

Only Skin

" I wish i could change my sex as often as i change my shirt"
-Andre Breton

lady of the house of love