Love Will Save Our Souls

back in leicester
my god the weather has turned cold...i am not impressed by this

Decanter and i had a very lovely and busy weekened
i might share some of my exhibition photos with you all

we decided to quit uni, move in with my family and become high class escorts

lady of the house of love

- Dagger.

I wish I was smooth and curvy and long hair-ed.

- Dagger.

The Physical Act Of Love.

"The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn."
O. Wilde.

- Dagger.

Under Your Spell

to my dear readers-

today i am travelling to the far away world of essex and home

so you may not hear from me for a few days

but i promise i will have lots of exciting things to tell you about when i get back to sunny leicester

i hope you all have a fabulous weekend

lady of the house of love

12

Mais elle n'a pas ... comprendre
Elle a juste souri et m'a tenu la main.

- Dagger.

I Must Above All Things Love Myself

i probably shouldn't have had that pint at lunch

i need to pack and tidy and do my washing but now i want a nap

and i got caught in the rain

but my will and grace dvds came today so its all good

lady of the house of love

Sixteen Zero Four

Today I feel pretty even though it is raining.

- Dagger.

Say You Still Adore Me

my tutor loved my work,

i have had a fabulous day

hence everyone else has had a shit one.

i'm not meant to be happy-

i throw off the natural balance of the world

lady of the house of love

We Feel Every Kind Of Feeling Except The Feeling Of Relief.

Today I do not feel pretty, even though it is sunny.

- Dagger.

22:48

You are re-definining my ideas about 'gender' and 'sex' and 'sexuality'.

- Dagger.

20:39

- Dagger.

It Keeps Me Awake But I Don't Mind

i feel more creative since i met you

lady of the house of love

DisFUCKtional

i want to create beatiful things like this-
i like it when i have a productive day

i might compile that playlist we discussed in celebration

lady of the house of love

Alphabet.

A short time ago, not far from here, lived a young girl who wore
Brown ribbons in her hair. She lived in a small, run down
Cottage with her father.
“Don’t
Ever go into the forest alone” he warned her. But she knew no
Fear. So into the forest she
Goes, with her
Hair all done up in ribbons.
“I shall be okay”, she said to herself, “for I have all these birds and
Jack rabbits, and this great
Knife to protect me.” She was yet to
Lose her innocence, and her
Mother was never there to teach her the dangers of the forest. It wasn’t until the
Owls started calling that she realised it was
Past her home time. How
Quiet it has become! How dark it has become! She knows she must avoid the urge to
Run.
She knows she must keep
To the path, but her feet keep getting tangled in the
Undergrowth. And she pulls her
Velvet cape close around her and hopes there are no
Wolves near by. Wolves with their
X-ray vision, and their big, big claws. And she tries to
Yell for her father, and hopes the wolf is not
Zealous in the devouring of her virgin flesh.

- Dagger.

Well You Know I'm A Woman

my nose piercing has healed up

this makes me sad

lady of the house of love

1899

-Dagger.

.

'Lisa has been going out with Jimmy for almost four months. She is 19 and works in a hairdressing salon. Jimmy came in for a haircut, they got chatting and he asked her out. She says "I fancied him at once, he's just my type, and I was really pleased when he asked me if I'd like to go and see a film with him. But when it came to the Saturday night I was very nervous. When you don't know someone it's always awkward at first. You wonder if he's going to make a move, and if he doesn't, will it be because he doesn't want to blow it, or because he doesn't fancy you after all. You spend ages worrying about what to wear and what to say, because you want to look your best and not make an idiot out of yourself... In the end, with Jimmy it was okay. After the film, he suggested getting something to eat and it was really easy to talk to him. By the end of the evening, it felt like we'd known each other for ages and it just seemed normal when he said he'd call me the next day.
All Sunday I was a nervous wreck waiting for the phone to ring and by six in the evening, I was sure it wasn't. I felt really miserable, so when he did call at 7:30 to suggest going out for a drink I felt almost lightheaded, and I went from total gloom to total happiness.
Later on, I confessed I'd thought he'd changed his mind and he explained that he hadn't been able to ring earlier; he'd had to get hold of some mates to let them know he wasn't going to meet them as he'd previously arranged. So, I began to hope that he felt the same way as I did.
How did I feel? It's hard to put into words. I don't think I was actually in love with him at that stage, but I know I could be falling in love. I knew I wanted to go on seeing him. I was sexually attracted to him. I wanted him to kiss me, and I wanted to make love to him. But, at the same time, I was frightened about being in a situation where sex could be an issue just in case he didn't want a girlfriend, just someone to take to bed."
Lisa and Jimmy went out together four more times before they made love. Lisa says: "It seems dreadful when you think about it like that, but it just seemed very natural. By that time we'd admitted how we felt about each other and we'd talked so much that it was as if we'd been going out for ages. It felt good just being together. So, making love seemed right and it just made everything more intense, more perfect".'
Extract from 'The 6 Stages Of Love' from 'Woman's World, June, 1990.

-Dagger.

Today I Do Not Feel Pretty, Even Though I Do Not Feel Ill.

- Dagger.

You Taste Like Glitter Mixed With Rock And Roll

i definitely need some latex in my wardrobe

lady of the house of love

Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby

i have been feeling all mushy and emotional lately

so this is for Dagger:

we always said that one day we would become so alike that we would merge into one person but it would seem that we have switched rolls and have become each other instead-

we are the straight girl and the gay girl and the art girl and the fashion girl; the skinhead and the punk; the poetry composer and the illustrator; the model and photographer; the social recluse and the party goer; the hardworker and the sloth but most of all we are the friends who i hope will be friends for a very long time

it makes me happy knowing that you are as happy as i am

i will love you always

and i miss you

lady of the house of love

"Under This Mask, Another...

...I Will Never Finish Lifting Up All These Faces"

this woman inspires me more than i can say

lady of the house of love

I Wish I'd Stayed Asleep Today.

Being in bed with you is really quite nice.

- Dagger.

The Woman Who Went Walking With A Wolf.

"There was a hunter once, near here, that trapped a wolf in a pit. This wolf had massacred the sheep and goats; eaten up a mad old man who used to live by himself in a hut halfway up the mountian ad sing to Jesus all day; pounced on a girl looking after the sheep, but she made such a commotion that men came with riffles and scared him away and tried to track him into the forest but he was cunning and easily gave them the slip. So this hunter dug a pit and put a duck in it, for bait, all alive-oh; and he covered the pit with straw smeared with wolf dung. Quack, quack! went the duck and a wolf came slinking out of the forest, a big one, a heavy one, he weighed as much as a grown man and the straw gave way beneath him- into the pit he tumbled. The hunter jumped down after him, to slit his throat, cut off all his paws for a trophy.
And then no wolf at all lay in front of the hunter but the bloody trunk of a man, headless, footless, dying, dead."
-Extract from 'The Company of Wolves' by Angela Carter.

One day I will write as well and have hair as cool as Angela Carter.

- Dagger.

CB1

63 dogs on a lead.
Sky toilets open till late.
A white swan opposite a cat flap.
1,779
Sundays to Thursdays only, all illness cured.
37 faulty lights.
Vincent, wash and dry your duvet where the sun always shines!

- Dagger.

Today I Wore Quite A Pretty Dress And Ate Too Much Cake.

I also realised that sitting around watching crap TV and waiting for you to kiss me pretty much rocks.

- Dagger.

i second Dagger's motion to make all period related items free

we should take this to Parliament

or make tampons and become millionaires

true story

lady of the house of love

Show Me How You Do That Trick

The One That Makes Me Scream She Said

lady of the house of love

Fishbones Dreaming.

I’m rubbish at goodbyes. Ideally I’d never let you leave. But you grab me at the station and kiss me all over my face. I lent you fifty pence for a packet of crisps and I thought I’d never see you again. I realise there is something potentially quite romantic about all this, but I can’t quite grasp it. I laugh through your lips, you’re looking right back at me. I open my eyes.
I hardly know you, yet we know each other so well. “I like looking at you. You make beautiful faces.” You laugh and it’s such an ugly sound. You hold my hands and it made me smile so much I think you changed your mind. I have to keep myself from asking stupid questions and ruining whats just happened. Somehow we giggle and we end up kissing again. I give up to watch American TV.

I'm not sure what I think of this?

- Dagger.

This Morning:

- I failed at making porridge.
- I realised I can actually spell porridge.
- I successfully washed my hair with the little bits out of the bottom of about five different shampoo bottles.
- I accidentally plucked a massive hole into one of my eyebrows.
- I felt a bit sick.
- I found all the books I need to give back to the library.
- I am not worried about money.
- I'm wearing really quite nice underwear.
- I have listened to far too many Bad Manners songs.
- I feel like a giggly sixteen year old again.
- I really abuse Blogger's spell check system.
- I'm really really really happy.

I abuse lists.

- Dagger.

- Dagger.

Rough Around The Edges

new dresses... yay!

lady of the house of love

Things that impress me:
- Not having to be on set till 12.
- Getting up at eight anyway and deciding to go to work.
- The way me heart feels every time someone says 'action'
- Kirby grips.
- Red lipstick.
- Extreme close ups.
- Fully charged laptops.
- Strawberry laces.
- Nice biscuits.
- Flesh coloured tights.
- The pleasant weather.
- Not having to hoover my purple suits.

- Dagger.

Never Be Content

i'm totally gonna get kicked out of uni for not doing enough work

lady of the house of love

One Day I'm Going To Be A Really Old Lady With Hand Tattoos.

-Dagger.

I Am Not What I Am, I Am What I Do With My Hands.

To continue Ladys' train of thought there...

- Dagger.

Broke Away

"I am interested in the body and by extension in clothes. Clothes are connected to sex and identity. Fashion is an expression about how we feel about ourselves and what we want from others."

-Louise Bourgeois

lady of the house of love

.

Workers at the Cambridge Picture Playhouse at 44a Mill Road. Date unknown.

Today, a man wearing a pair of PVC trouser and an army jacket cycled past me.
There are many, many reasons I enjoy my street.

-Dagger.

The Rest Of The World Has Gone Home

"Dada is not a movement in art

Dada is an outlook on life

opposed to anything we imagine to be of vital importance"

so i'm spending all evening in the library-lucky me

lady of the house of love

.

I left to get a zip at half eleven this morning.
I got back at about half three with a zip, a new coat, and some paint on my foot.

Oh, how I love my life.

-Dagger.

.

I don't have much to say this morning.
I'm sitting on the floor of my living room, watching Jeremy Kyle, sewing layers of netting into a gingham circle skirt.
My life is perfect.

I miss being on set.

-Dagger.

Is It Tomorrow Yet?

- Dagger.

Text Engineer..

i actually dropped my phone in the bath

FUCK
MY
LIFE

lady of the house of love

- Dagger

.

The best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape.

We have a pizza box under our coffee table.
I don't even remember the last time we had pizza.

- Dagger.

Today Could Have Been So Beautiful.

If I was your girlfriend I would never use the 'c' word to describe any part of your body.

- Dagger.

The Love Is Gone

-Dagger.

My Lips Are Bleeding From Kissing You Goodbye

i'm going home tomorrow

and i'm actually looking forward to it

yesterday i was given my brief for my last project as a first year

and i'm really not looking forward to that

lady of the house of love

We will piant the shoes and it will be okay.
I am ill and tired and my shoulder blades ache. But I am happy. Ever so happy.

- Dagger.

You owe this man everything.

- Dagger.

It Seems My Feet Can't Stand The Ground No More

i can't believe i have so many amazing people in my life right now

lady of the house of love

Too Late To Go Back To Sleep

Today I do not feel pretty even though I washed my hair.

I greatly dislike this, but have some poetry:

The pavement is uneven. Not cobble stones, great big slabs of pavement.
I start counting them as I walk along. I try not to step on the cracks.
Black bricks. A pub. I wonder if she ever went there alone. A couple lean against the wall and smoke and talk. I look back at the floor.
I must cross the road. Stop and look both ways. Parked cars along one side, their number plates all facing the same way.
I step down the curb. It’s slightly icy in the road, where no one has walked yet. Dotted lines.
I reach the other side unharmed.
Little houses with picket fences. It would be delightful if it wasn’t for the graffiti everywhere.
Little gardens with little ponds and little gnomes.
I pass a row of shops. A florist that will look so pretty, full of tulips, later, when the sun is shining.
But now, the shutters are drawn. I’m glad it’s early, and I’m gad I’m alone.
She lives above a shop. I do too.
A red door beside a newsagents. The paint is peeling and the door frame is old.
I am made to take my shoes off.

-Dagger.

Love That Will Not Betray You, Dismay Or Enslave You,

It Will Set You Free

it would seem that there is an awkward conversation on the cards for when i go home this weekend

lady of the house of love