.

Things That I Have Realised That Really, Really Suck:

- I may be desperately in love with my best friend. This did not work at fourteen, sixteen nor eighteen. I doubt it will work at twenty.

- Our graduation gowns are blue and yellow. BLUE AND YELLOW.

- I have actually bitten a massive chunk out of the inside of my mouth.

- My tutor is mad at me for something I didn't even say.

- The kitchen is always a mess.

- Whilst drunkenly in bed with a gentleman friend the other day I drunkenly went into detail about my hairy legs and lesbian sex.

- My mother would be intensely ashamed of the number of people I've slept with.

On the other hand I have melon.

- Dagger.