"i don't know what i just did but now its all wet"- points at crotch

lady of the house of love & Dagger

All The People Said That's Okay, You Know The Sun Will Shine Another Day On You.

Things i must continue to remind myself in 2011-

• everything happens for a reason
• i have an unrealistic impression of myself
• i am a strong, independent woman
• for 2 thirds of 2010 i was happy and i will be again
• i need to work on my self confidence
• i must rid myself of all negative thoughts and be positive
• move on from the past
• make a promise to see my friends and family more often
• to tell myself that i am a beautiful, creative, talented person

i guess you could call this my new years resolution(s)

lady of the house of love

Ask Me Why And I'll Die

“art does not reproduce the visible; rather it makes visible.”
paul klee

lady of the house of love

Can't Do It By Myself

I'm going to stay with my dad for a few days
i'll see you news years eve my dear readers

lady of the house of love

.

I survived the Christmas sales by standing perfectly still in the middle of New Look singing "Park Life" at my mother.

I love going dancing with you too.

-Dagger.

It's Over, You're Second Best

to the many toasts of last night:
-"here's to 2011"
-"here's to bitches who won't screw us over!"

i love going dancing with you

lady of the house of love

Interesting Things That Have Happened To Me This Year:

- Food poisoning.
- Theatre.
- Back-combing hair.
- Straight firsts.
- Film sets.
- A DOP with guitarists fingers.
- Discovering I can vaguely write.
- Multiple pregnancy scares.
- Crying in Southend high street.
- 13 pints of cider.
- Billy Idol in the rain.
- Rooftop cinema.
- Understanding the concept of heartbreak bringing physical pain.
- Making you take your boots off to paddle with me.
- Oral sex.
- Ancient Greek.
- Kissing the mole on the back of your neck.
- A night with an Italian.
- Getting angry about politics.
- Wearing trousers and matching underwear and getting out of the bath and going to yours and feeling wonderful and smoking afterwards.
- Realising I am in love with you. Realising it will never work. Realising I am okay with this.
- The best sex ever.
- Sarah Kane.
- A foot tattoo.
- 136 pages of  'Mask in Performance.'
- You cooking the most delicious meals for me.
- Snow.
- Wearing three jumpers and sitting on the floor as lights are packed away and you tell me you love having me on your team.

Next year will be better.

- Dagger.

Christmas TV

here's hoping you have a very lovely Christmas dear reader

lady of the house of love

.

For a lot of people it's the coming out bit that's hard, the getting up the guts to tell everyone you're gay bit. That was easy for me, everyone seemed to know. No one had a problem. Everyone asked me who the lucky lady was. And you see this is the thing. It's a year later and I'm still sitting around in my sex pistols pjs knitting tea cosies for my mum.

I adore being gay, I just suck at it.

- Dagger. 

Happy Christmas Eve.

- Dagger.

I genuinely adore this costume.

- Dagger.

Please Don't Take My Man, Just Because You Can

i had a nice quiet evening alone planned, with some soft music, some white wine, a bit of pampering and looking forward to the prospect of going home to a wonderful christmas.

instead you have again managed to make me feel like nothing and i'm sat in my room praying away the hours til i can get away from you.

i can.not. believe that you can still make me feel so terrible.

something good had better come my way in the new year because i really think its about time that it does... instead of putting me through the same old shit that i cannot handle any more.

"i could never love again, he's the only one for me Jolene"

lady of the house of love

.

Next year I will find a girl who won't cheat on me, won't try and punch me in the face, and won't spend seven hours making out with my best friend.
Maybe.

-Dagger.

Why Is This Bed Room So Cold, Turn Away On Your Side

i'm wearing two jumpers in my room and i'm still freezing- like wearing gloves, can't feel my toes freezing...

i'm trying to get ready to go home on monday but i seriously don't think i'm going to fit everything in my suitcase- i might die trying to carry everything. fml

lady of the house of love

Reasons I Have No Blogged For Ages:

- My USB keyboard broke. And I fail quite spectacularly at the on screen keyboard.
- My phone broke, no more mobile internet for me.
- Deadlines.
- Dissertations.
- Trying to sew corsets. Failing to sew corsets.
- Pulling all nighters. Not in the fun "lots of cider and trying to buy a burger at five in the morning" way.
- Spring Awakening.
- Dinner at Simon's.
- Gay drama.

It's December and I still cry about you nearly everyday.
I give up on love, and women.

- Dagger.

I Can Still See You

i've been drinking since lunch time- and i shall continue drinking until the early hours of this morning

i love celebrating the end of term

lady of the house of love

Some Girls Wander By Mistake

lady of the house of love

i feel that this post needs to be a good ole list- cos we haven't had one in a while

last night was about:

• red lipstick
• cold and flu meds
• free shots
• kissing the cheeks of strangers
• being chatted up in the toilets
• more free shots
• hearing my song
• singing extra loudly
• waiting ages for a cab
• eating left over pizza at 4am
• hilarious photos
• feeling stunning
• looking stunning
• a drag queen singing blondie
• black sambuca
• awesome friends
• the promise to go out with them more often

not particularly in this order though

lady of the house of love

Do You Believe In Magic? In A Young Girls Heart?

lady of the house of love

Now I'm Alone And I Can Think For Myself

today has been pretty unspectacular but at the same time... it's been the best day i've had in a long time

didn't i tell you the other day that life was good?

lady of the house of love

I Hear You're Doing Okay, But I Want To Know. I'm A Dick.

i had an amazingly great time last night and now i know exactly how i'm going to add to my rose tattoo

lady of the house of love

The World Has Changed. So I Must Change As Well

I'm really looking forward to tonight. like really really!

life is good

lady of the house of love

If I Were Her I'd Paint My Skin Til All Of It Was Gone

lady of the house of love

You're In Love With Someone Else, It Should Be Me...

...It Could Be Me, That's Changing...

this band has made my week

lady of the house of love

Good Morning Heart Ache, What's New?

 i will be spending all day doing illustrations and listening to Billie Holiday... i'm my pjs

lady of the house of love

It Was Just One Of Those Things

i don't have time to blog... 4 days til the deadline!

lady of the house of love

What Happens When You Loose Everything?

You Just Start Again. You Start All Over Again...

lady of the house of love

From The Land Where You Still Hear The Cries

i've had a very productive day but i still feel like shit at the end of it

lady of the house of love

I Need A Change Of Skin

it just occurred to me that since we've been apart i haven't listened to Placebo...not once.

so it goes...

lady of the house of love

I Bet We Had A Better Time Than You

today has been spent on coaches and in fabric shops

and now i'm going to strut around the living room in my new boots... just because i can

lady of the house of love

I Could Ice Some Strawberries

i noticed this morning that my legs are covered in bruises
but i have no idea where i got them from

lady of the house of love

Unknown Pleasures

"There's a very fine line between being artistic and being a dickhead- it's like love and hate."- Peter Hook

lady of the house of love

I Sleep With My Hands Across My Chest

yesterday was about lists...
this one is my favourite:

• good looks
• wit
• decent hair
• nice nose
• pretty face
• pots, pans and showergel
• good dress sense
• employable
• good tattoos
• a brain
• sense of humour
• clean bed
• really cool tshirt
• amazing boobs
• neat sewing
• no split personality

lady of the house of love

Never Looked Better And You Can't Stand It

Reasons why today sucks:

1. waking up very late
2. noisy neighbours
3. slipping on black ice
4. walking into a pole
5. burning fingers on irons
6. having not eaten for 24 hours
7. pasta leakage all over the inside of my bag

Reasons why today is awesome:

1. really trashy teenage tunes
2. singing in the kitchen
3. planned cinema trip with the prospect of ALOT of ice cream
4. really really like beyond awesome friends
5. smoothies
6. warm ears
7. finished toiles
8. no stress about my review
9. leggings that don't have holes in them

lady of the house of love

So I am sitting bed an I am reading and I am wearing my own jumper but it smells like you and I find this lovely because I secretly find you very lovely and last night I was so tired I could have cried and you think I am cute even when my face is puffy.

- Dagger.

Friends Are Much Harder To Find Than Lovers

something to think about dear readers

lady of the house of love

Let My Dream Of Happiness Come True

this is me not talking about you on my blog

lady of the house of love

Infiltrate Imagination

i have been listening to this band way too much lately

lady of the house of love

lady of the house of love

.

"My name is Zizi. I am French and militant in the Movement de Libération de la Femme. As far as my establishment in time is concerned, I'm twenty-three years old."


- Dagger.

I'm Working On Erasing You, But I Just Don't Have The Proper Tools

lady of the house of love

Ziggy Played

i feel irritated by you for no reason

and yes ... i am always right



lady of the house of love

All Our Most Brilliant Friends Are Doubting Themselves

i wish i went to a uni that encouraged my design style... i would really love to go into business with you all

lady of the house i love

You should love me back simply because it fucking hurts that you don't.

- Dagger.

Nice Things That Have Happened To Me:

- Pink carnations to match my dress.
- Walking home from Southend with no socks on.
- Sitting on a sofa in a flat above a gay bar with your arm around me.
- Sleeping in a Penn State tee-shirt.
- Walking home from Romford in six inch heels with your number in my bra.
- Kissing at a chip van.
- Falling in love on a film set. Twice.
- Renting 'Some Like It Hot' and first kisses in orange light.
- Falling in love in the rain.
- Spending a night with an Italian.
- Holding hands, and being kissed on the forehead in your kitchen.
- Sleeping in a Guns'n'Roses tee-shirt.
- A single red rose.

I think you are so fucking unbearably fucking cute when you've just got out the shower and you're just wearing a hoodie and the way you push your sleeves up and your fucking guitarists fingers and the fucking nice things you call me and the way that you know exactly how to make a cup of tea and the fucking hugs you give that just fucking make everything better again.

You are both hurting me so fucking much and neither of you care.

- Dagger.

"I thought that if you knew me that well and you could walk away from me, I thought there must be something really wrong with me."

- Cat, Lip Service.

- Dagger.

I'm Working On Drawing A Straight Line

i should have realised sooner that our views about life were just too different...
you think that life is meant to be fun
i think its meant to be hard

lady of the house of love

Lets Grow Old Together And Die At The Same Time

lady of the house of love

He Confessed His Body Was Burning

i have so much work to do i'm actually considering throwing myself in the river...that might make things easier for everyone involved

lady of the house of love

I Really Like Being Kissed On The Forehead.

- Dagger.

You Could Meet Someone Who Really Loves You

today has left me wondering if i'm really that easy to get over
...i probably shouldn't care this much any more...

lady of the house of love

There Never Were Any Good Old Days

 if i had my way... i'd be a 6 year old forever

lady of the house of love

Mine Was The Heart I Never Thought You Would Break

i've had a really terrible day

lady of the house of love

You Stole My Heart And That's What Really Hurts

" There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until its too late to do anything about it. Its the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me but please think i'm special. We share an addiction, we're all approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-funkin' rah look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits begging for the approval of others."
-Jake Green in Revolver 2005

lady of the house of love

Step Aside Its My Day

i don't know what you want me to say but i know there's something you aren't telling me

lady of the house of love

Touching From A Distance

because i want to use nude latex in my collection

lady of the house of love

Reasons Today Is Quite Lovely:

- Hot chocolate with cinnamon.
- Rolls with pesto.
- Sex Pistols pyjamas.
- Programmes about bed and breakfasts.
- The fact that I am not drunk.
- The way I am currently enjoying being single.
- The fact that I have a section in my dissertation called 'Monkey Skulls'.
- The date I am looking forward to.

I know I will be okay.

- Dagger.

Somewhere Out Roaming Tonight

The rain is heavy today and its freezing in here. i wish i had the balls to talk to you.

lady of the house of love

One day I will not understand why I was so upset.

- Dagger. 

Reasons You Are A Hypocritical Bastard:

- If what we had was so amazing, you would not want to not have it.
- If it's not black and white, if it's not even colour then it is not worth your time. We had something better than that and you know it you fucker.
- No we cannot be friends. We have not been friends for ages. We have not been friends since I stayed out with you till ten cos you did not want to go back to your mum's and I brought you chips and you broke my heart.
- "Right person wrong time" it is obviously not the wrong time for the new girl you are fucking.

You hurt me so fucking much and I cannot fucking tell you because you do not fucking care.
The last time I saw you you told me we would probably get back together cos how could we not? we're never going to find someone that's better for us.

I bet she has really long hair and really big boobs. You fucker.

This is such a drunk, angry fucking hurt blog post.

- Dagger.

One More For The Road

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you somebody else is the hardest battle you will ever fight"
-E.E Cummings

lady of the house of love

Coffee And Stalking

today the sun is shining and i feel peaceful

...i should get drunk on old wine and make awkward sexual advances more often

lady of the house of love

Jesus It must be Great To Be Straight.

I have not posted here for ages. Apparently I cannot write honest things anymore.


I'm just checking in to tell you life is awful and big and utterly wonderful.

- Dagger.

Furnished Ground

on the way home i kicked leaves and realised that i don't need you any more

lady of the house of love

The Sun Is Often Out

i've gone past the point of caring if you still read this or not.

i need you to love me like you used to

lady of the house of love

She Puts The Weight Into My Little Heart

i just hope that somewhere in the near future you'll realise you've made a massive mistake

lady of the house of love

I Am The One And Only

last time i was in that club

we made out in the corner and you told me that one day you'd like to marry me

i just wonder what has changed since then.

i can't wait for you to come home

lady of the house of love

Try To Ignore All This Blood On The Floor

Its Just My Heart On My Sleeve Bleeding

lady of the house of love

.

This is a slightly sober and slightly emotional message. I am in one of those moods where I have drunk lots, cried lots and really need a hug. Usually I'd ring you, but I can't.

- Dagger.

I Love You Though You Hurt Me So

lady of the house of love

I Just Want To Tell You How I'm Feeling (The One Where I Actually Do.)

- I can't talk to you about this any more. You can't see how badly you're hurting him, and quite frankly it makes you a cunt.
- I didn't particularly want to come out last night, as I didn't particularly want to stand next to three people who've seen me naked and make small talk. However, I'm truly glad we talk again, you're truly lovely to me.
- I am very, very glad we talk again. I didn't realise it'd been four years, but I remember why we were so close.
- You're amazing and I'm glad you live in my living room.
- I miss you. You have no idea how much. People tell me I will get over the relationship, and yeah, I don't miss 'us' as a concept, but I miss beardy, useless, funny, cuddly, small handed you.
- Have fun fucking in Europe. You're shit at it.
- I'm a little bit glad I'm not over thinking things.
- Something clichéd about how I thought I was different/special/meaningful.
- You're cool. And I'm sorry things are too much for me right now.

I am so sick of being hurt.

- Dagger.

I Just Want To Tell You How I'm Feeling.

- Dagger.

.

Things That I Have Realised That Really, Really Suck:

- I may be desperately in love with my best friend. This did not work at fourteen, sixteen nor eighteen. I doubt it will work at twenty.

- Our graduation gowns are blue and yellow. BLUE AND YELLOW.

- I have actually bitten a massive chunk out of the inside of my mouth.

- My tutor is mad at me for something I didn't even say.

- The kitchen is always a mess.

- Whilst drunkenly in bed with a gentleman friend the other day I drunkenly went into detail about my hairy legs and lesbian sex.

- My mother would be intensely ashamed of the number of people I've slept with.

On the other hand I have melon.

- Dagger.

Can You Tell That I'm Loosing Myself?

who wants to wallow in self pity with me?

lady of the house of love

.

"Attired in bridal veil and leather greatcoat, Phoebe Haines offered a kind of Cindi Lauper punk to Cassandra."


Review on the guardian baby.


-Dagger.

Tell You Stories Of A Better Time

this morning made me think about doing something that i haven't thought about since i was 18

lady of the house of love

A Note From First Year.

P.S. you're having a bubble if you think I'm going to go out of my way for you after the way you've treated me this evening.

Did I ever realistically use the phrase 'having a bubble'?

- Dagger.

You're Not Coming Home Tonight

i've eaten way too many custard creams
but i will be getting dressed up tomorrow

lady of the house of love

All Those Shadows There..

lady of the house of love

first day back at uni and already my life is OVER

lady of the house of love

Last Night I Got My Drink Spiked.

I threw up three times outside a Chinese Restaurant. 

Male reaction to this fact:
- Telling me my sick smelt like pea soup.
- Chatting me up outside a chip shop.
- Telling me I should have been more careful with my drink.
- Trying to kiss me after the fourth vomit fit.
- Genuinely lovely concern.

I possibly should have been more careful with my drink. But I should possibly also be able to go out dancing without people drugging me.

- Dagger.

I Thought Seeing You Again Would Be Like A Scene In A Film.

It sort of was, only it was a really shit scene, in a really shit film.

- Dagger.

Reasons Today Is Awesome:

- I got to sleep in.
- I'm wearing a very jazzy outfit, and very stompy boots.
- I had a productive meeting, in which I said "am I making any sense?" approximately 30 times.
- My loan came.
- I got needles stuck in me.
- I got sympathy from a guy with facial tattoos.
- I found a wedding dress.
- I got given muffins.
- I dressed people up.
- I got hit on.
- We're going to go to the cinema.

I went downstairs and asked the woman for surgical tape and bepanthenm. She asked me where my new tattoo was.

- Dagger

-Dagger.

.

A: What's the weirdest thing you've seen irl?
M: A girl chewing on her own used tampon backstage at a Marilyn Manson concert. 


- Dagger.

Change It All From Inside

i wish i had a tattoo as beautiful as this one

tonight i shall be partying with old friends and 30yr old tattoo lovers

lady of the house of love

Venus And Cupid

following our conversation in the bath-

Artemisia Gentileschi 

if i was going to paint you... i'd do it in this style

lady of the house of love

Beth Ditto.

Last night I got lots of kisses on the back of my neck.

- Dagger.

I got a can of cider taken off of me as I was licking it, but have now started to lick the cup instead.

- Dagger.

I've Just Had The Worst Dream.

- Dagger.

I Wish:

- I had long, curly hair.

- I had a reason to tie flowers in my long, curly hair.

- I wasn't jealous of a 15 year old.

- I wasn't on my period.

- I wasn't in bed weeping softly to a Billy Idol song.

- You thought about me every time you saw fireworks.

- I was beautiful to you.

- You still thought about our first kiss.

- I could have a normal relationship for once.

I think you should turn up at my door right now with a bunch of flowers, some kisses and some promises you will actually keep.

- Dagger.

Frustrations And Disappointments In Your Self.

and i've woken up late and i know i won't be able to shake that dream all day

lady of the house of love

.

(My bed, Cambridge.)

Neither of us are and both of us are sort of sad.

- Dagger.

.

And now I remember you rubbing sun cream into my breasts.

-Dagger.

Our Daughters' Daughter's Will Adore Us

i have absolutely no idea if i used the correct punctuation in the title of this blog

lady of the house of love

The Sky Is So Vivid Today.

I want you, and only you, to come and look after me.

-Dagger.

Even Though I'll Miss I Think I'm Glad For The Space

your metaphors make me smile

i think that today... i might need some Gene Kelly

lady of the house of love

You Can't Say Sorry And Expect Everything To Be Alright

i'm starting to worry that the fact that i'm a touch insane is going to ruin everything

i'm a waste of space who destroys everything

-looks like i'm feeling sorry for myself today

lady of the house of love

.

"Suddenly my husband looked at me and said 'What are you smiling about?' I replied, 'I was in bed with Tom Jones.'

'What did you do?' he asked. 'Everything!' I said. 'And it was smashing!' "

Kit- 'My Secret Garden.'

- Dagger.

I Don't Like The Drugs. But The Drugs Like Me

its hard to blog when you're drunk

this would be on our sex play list

and my god do i want to sex you right now

lady of the house of love

Carving Knife By ...

"Blondes are the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints"
-Alfred Hitchcock

lady of the house of love

I Could Pole Dance On That Beast!

this is image confuses me somehow...
our pride day yesterday was ruined by some angry lesbians fighting with a drag queen

but on a separate note you are too fabulous for words and i love you many

lady of the house of love

.

"So... she's all like 'all women are evil'... cut to... sex scene, she's on top all crying and stuff. She's all like 'Hit me. Hit me so it hurts. Show me you love me.' and HE'S all like 'maybe I don't love you' right... cut to... her masturbating up against a tree of corpses."

"Wow, yeah, awesome idea Lars."

NO.

-Dagger.

Last Night I Lost My Virginity.

She held me and told me I was so so beautiful.

Today I smell like fags and literally can't stop smiling.

- Dagger.

.

"you always have the best stories"

- Dagger.

Last Night:

- Limehouse.
- Basements.
- Microdermals.
- Walls.
- DVDs.
- Walking.
- Missing you.
- Talking about film sets.
- Broken sofas.
- Vampire movies.
- Naff lighting.
- HH.
- Sleeping.
- Getting films explained to me.
- Forked tongues.
- The walk of shame.

I need to sleep.

- Dagger.

Today I Really Miss You.

- Dagger.

To The East, To The South, To The West, To The North

so today i'm travelling to the North

wish me luck

i hear there are lots of fields and hills

this makes me nervous

lady of the house of love

yesterday i was treated to a very romantic evening and it was lovely

there were:

kisses

flowers

sweeties

tea

a 'mix tape' that actually had photos not songs

a lush bath

candles

strawberries

squirty cream

a massage

and quite possibly the best sex ever

lady of the house of love

I'm Not The One You Want Babe.

Go away from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who's never weak but always strong,
To protect you an' defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
I'm not the one you want, babe,
I'll only let you down.
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes to you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone to die for you an' more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

You say you're looking for someone
Who'll pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An' to come each time you call,
A love you for your life an' nothing more,
But it ain't me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe,
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe.

Sitting in a towel crying at Johnny Cash. I have reached a new low.

- Dagger.

.

When I was little my dad had to work in Russia for a while and he brought these back.

I was perfectly fine for 20 years without you, but there's a dull ache now you've gone.

- Dagger.

Reasons I Cried At Six

- You said you loved me and that you call me later. 25 hours later, I'm still waiting.
- I am a Courtney without a Kurt.
- You're too hungover for a bus jouney to Romford. You are not too hung over for the pub with girls from work.
- She asks how you are, and you don't tell her you're happy we are back together. You don't tell her we are back together at all.

- Dagger.

I Own A Broken Camera And A Broken Heart.

I hate that I am waiting up for him to call when I know he never will.

- Dagger.

I Want To Be 50.

Friday:

- Seven o'clock.

- Kisses in bed.

- Red lipstick and flowery dresses.

- Getting changed in the toilets.

- Suicidal ducks.

- Naughty kisses.

- Name games.

- The Northen Line.

- Shopping.

- Vintage clothes and records.

- Books.

- Sex shops.

- Sushi.

- Kings Cross Train Station.

- Not knowing what to wear.

- Sweet text messages.

- Drag.

- Pub talk and raspberry beer.

- Nice smelling neighbours.

- Top hats, canes and amazing moustaches.

- Corsets.

- Dancing.

- Compliments.

- Having my picture taken.

- More dancing.

- Being pissed off.

- Wishing you were here.

- Walking home.

- Chips.

That was an epically long list.

I epically miss you.

- Dagger.

Things I Don't Want People To Know.

This is going around blog-land so I thought I'd jump on the band wagon.

1) I watch a lot of porn.

2) I have been feeling really broody lately. And I know I am no where near ready, emotionally, financially or relationship-wise to have a child, but a large part of me fears that I never ever will be.

3) I always thought I was going to get married young.

4) I just cried at the x factor.

5) I was seriously considering not going to the first meeting of the last film I worked on, because I hate meeting new people.

6) I want long, curly hair so badly it makes me cry sometimes.

7) I love hand washing my clothes.

8) Your girlfriend is really, really, really boring.

9) Mirrors in the dark really, really creep me out.

10) I hate, with a passion, the fact that I am messy.

I wish my life was more romantic, and there were more fields in it.

- Dagger.

Today Is Gloomy, But At Least My Tights Are Clean.

Things That Have Really Pissed Me Off Today:

- Wet socks.

- The fact that our kitchen only stays clean for half an hour.

- Not being text back.

- People not answering their phones.

- People updating their facebook status', but ignoring my messages.

- The fact that you STILL owe me a grand, and you STILL can't be bothered to get your stuff.

- The fact that you possibly have our good can opener.

- You won't answer your phone.

- Frustrating, useless conversations.

- Staying in for no reason.

Blah.

I'm going to take my Holga and possibly my 35mm out tomorrow in London, and this makes me happy.

- Dagger.

So Go! Try...

back home again....

for some reason i always expect things to have changed in this town

and it always disappoints me somehow

even though i know it will be the same

and in some crazy way i find that comforting

lady of the house of love

Things That Should Not Happen When You're Not A Teenager:

- Unrequited love.

- Being told by your parents you'll never amount to anything without them.

- Being told by your parents to tidy your room.

- Being told by your parents to shut up and sit down.

Today has been awful.

I feel useless, and loveless.

I don't understand how relationships are supposed to work?

- Dagger.

- Dagger.

Saturday:

- Getting up early.
- Bears.
- Stopping for food after two minutes.
- Bowling For Soup.
- Major Tom.
- Couples.
- The sea.
- Missing the American one.
- Getting pebbles in my shoe.
- Very big seagulls.
- High street.
- Chinese.
- Tupperware boxes.
- Cameras.
- Rainbow bunting.
- Vegan marshmallows.
- Traffic.
- Rain.
- Cider.
- Vegetarian spring rolls and cream slices.
- Duvets and borrowing AC/DC t-shirts.
- Missing not drinking.
- Mean, drunken things.
- Sick.
- Being told not shaving my legs is okay at a festival, but repulsive in a bedroom in hackney.
- Spooning.
- Snoring.

Sunday so far has consisted of being made cups of tea, Billy Idol, apologies and soup.

- Dagger.

Yesterday:

- Kissing.
- Pretty skirts.
- Train stations, train tickets.
- Pret.
- The Northern Line.
- Subway.
- Sitting on the steps of a theatre.
- Waterloo.
- Tongues.
- Following signs.
- Pigeons and brick walls.
- Tanks.
- Trenches.
- Knowing about the Berlin Wall.
- Pizza.
- Unicycles and chainsaws.
- Avenue Q.
- Sleeping on the train on the way home.

- Dagger.

Only Skin

" I wish i could change my sex as often as i change my shirt"
-Andre Breton

lady of the house of love

- Dagger.

because of the lack of internet in my house i have had time to read...

...mostly about women artists and surrealism

life is good most of the time

lady of the house of love

.

- Dagger.

I have no faith in politics.

Interesting things I have found whilst cleaning my room:

- Two blue condoms.

- Several pairs of pants.

- Several pairs of socks which do not belong to me.

- Two empty DVD cases which brought back long forgotten anger.

- Love notes.

- A box of hats.

- Chewing gum.

- Nicotine gum.

- A bag of dead roses.

- Lots of deodorant.

-Dagger.

I'm Finding It So Hard To Be Optimistic.

It's only been 42 minutes but I'm finding life so so hard without you.

- Dagger.

I hate people who update their facebook from festivals.

I hate people who update their facebook from work.

I hate people who owe me £1000 going to festivals when I can't afford to.

I hate people who go places without you when they know you're sitting at home in your pjs.

I hate soppy moments at train stations.

I hate being so vulnerable sometimes.

I do however, love Google Chrome and the way it checks my spelling.

- Dagger.